DAY EIGHT | SELF CONFIDENCE

I asked him why he fell in love with me. After 13 years, it was always the same answer, "Your Sexy Confidence."

That relationship is no longer. I’ll save that story for another day. But I will forever remember those words.

Lately it feels as if I left that confident woman behind. Or stuffed her in the back of my closet along with those size 4 jeans. I swear one day I'll pull them both back out and work the room again. I know when he said confidence he was talking about how I speak my mind and know exactly what I want in life. Or maybe it's the way I talk to people with such a confident manner. Always laughing, never faltering. Batting my eyes and being the playful human being that I am. Being comfortable in front of strangers and making friends within minutes of meeting someone. The older you get, the harder it is to keep up. It's a constant battle. Most women struggle with this. I know. At times, I am one of them.

Although on the outside it may SEEM like I got my shit together. There are times I want to crawl into bed and just stay hidden from the world. Women have such a huge complex because of what this world expects of us. Rocking body, wealthy, no stretch marks or wrinkles, keeping an immaculate household, being the amazing lover and perfect in every manner. Yet in reality we are searching for miracle creams, are business women, stay at home moms, drive mini vans, hang out at dance class or soccer practice 3 times a week and barely have time to make a decent meal for our family. Our laundry is piled high because we had to work late or catch a 2nd shift in order to pay the bills and when we get home we walk around in sweat pants and our hair in a bun... screw the sexy lingerie. I get it. Life is not all lollipops and gumdrops. But who the hell says sweatpants and buns can't be sexy? Make that shit sexy. I bet if you walked out with your head held high and rocked that shit... your man would look at you like... DAMN!!!! Try it!!! I dare you.

Men love you without makeup. They would rather you walk around looking natural, than all done up. Trust me.

Just do it with confidence.

My entire purpose on starting this self love project is to bring back that self confidence- stronger than ever before. I'm 42 and gosh darn it , I've earned these stripes!! Every scar, every mark on my body and in my heart, is proof that I have lived. I deserve to feel confident in my own skin. My age and my weight do not define me as a woman. But my personality does. That is one thing that will never change. I will constantly battle my weight issues. I went from size 0 and wishing I was more curvy, to size 12 and wishing I was thinner. I battled both sides and it's exhausting.

I’m knocking these walls down slowly each day I post something new. Stripping away each layer one by one until I can free myself of all self negativity. Allowing myself to become vulnerable so that I can grow. Self Confidence doesn't just happen overnight. If you remember Day Four, I talked about how it was taken from me. It took years for me to get it back. You too can get yours back. And it starts with loving yourself. You can be told time and time again just how beautiful you are but if YOU don't believe it, you will never see it. You are AMAZING. Do you know that? Absolutely incredible. You deserve to be celebrated!!! So do something that makes you feel worthy!

Here are a few tips on how to build your self confidence:
Prepare for your journey
-Get your mind right. Remove any negative thoughts from it. Remove Can't, Won't and Hate from your vocabulary. RIGHT NOW!
- Write down one positive thing about yourself daily. In a journal or on the notepad app on your phone. Do not be shy. IT IS OK TO LOVE YOURSELF!!!!!
- Look at what you have already achieved. These don't have to be big goals. Little goals are important too.
- Think about all your strengths and list them down.
- Think about what's important and where you want to go.
- Continue to manage your mind. This part is easy to lose sight of. Be strong.
- Surround yourself around people that are positive and motivating.
- Wear something that makes you feel pretty.
- Commit to your success.

It’s easy to fall back on stuff. Don't beat yourself up if you do. Just get back up and try again. And again and again. Eventually this will become a habit. Treating yourself the way you want to be treated. It's a beautiful thing. There are so many amazing and empowering quotes. Look them up. Read them. Believe them. Here is one that I adore.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make and manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson

And THIS BOOK!!! Get it and Read it daily!! --- She by Kobi Yamada

She turned her cant's into cans, and her dreams into plans. Celebrate her goals.
She discovered her real measurements had nothing to do with numbers or statistics. Celebrate her self-esteem.
She woke up one day and threw away all her excuses. Celebrate her accountability.
She discovered she was the one she’d been waiting for. Celebrate her self-reliance.
She decided to start living the life she’d imagined. Celebrate her freedom.
She held her head high and looked the world straight in the eye. Celebrate her strength.
She made the world a better place. Celebrate her...

I can't wait to hear about your journey. Please share with me. We are in this together!!!

Also if you are interested in a boudoir session to feel all that sexy confidence….. hit your girl up!!!!!! I will give you an experience of a lifetime!!!

My Beauty Within online women group is open to the public! Free 30 day trial. Learn all about Self Confidence and Self Love with other amazing and resilient women!!!

Subject: Me

Photographer: Modern Love Photography

Hair and Makeup: Ashyln Taylor