inner healing

Drunk Texts

I dont feel the same anymore.jpg

LMAO. #SnoozeYouLose #MissedYourChance #ImSoberAndSmarterNow

Oh man. I find this quote hilarious actually. This used to be me. I never thought I would ever admit this to the world publicly because it’s something I was ashamed of. But we all know where shame leads.. a world of inner hurt, rebellion and toxicity.

And since I’m starting a community on freeing yourself from what holds you back. I need to start with MY TRUTH. MY STORY.

I was the one that numbed my pain with alcohol and then covered that up with meaningless sex. Odd to say that out loud! Because I never owned that truth until right now, this very second. Of course I told the best stories to my friends, who all lived vicariously through me, but what they didn’t know was that even though I could have anyone at the snap of my fingers, I was extremely lonely inside.

I always filled the void I felt in my heart, with men. Not even the right men. Sometimes being extremely reckless. But as long as I was happy (or so I thought), it was ok. Abandonment issues and codependency are no joke.

And then I wondered why I couldn’t find that special someone who wanted to marry me. How could anyone possibly love me if I didn’t love myself first?!?!

It was a very lonely life. Even though I always had someone there.

I never realized the only thing to fill that void within was through my own self love and worthiness.

Once I started my journey of self love... my need for a man stopped. #SorryItsMeNotYou . So did all my crazy and wild stories. Lol. Not gonna lie I did have fun and could write a book on those adventures.... but at what cost?

Today I’m proud to say that the only person I need is me, myself and I.

And yes of course my friends and family.

I CHOOSE to be with a man because I WANT to, not because I NEED to. So if you’re getting my attention.... please know that shit is special. Genuine. And a decision I’ve carefully made to have you in my life. And I’m also OK being alone. I’ve learned to love my own company.

It feels so amazing to say I’m freed of that toxic personality. The one with that low self esteem that needed others to validate her self worth. I’m not perfect and I take things day by day. There are still times I doubt myself. But I’m aware of it now.

My recovery process didn’t happen overnight. It took YEARS! And daily progress that I still need to keep up with in order to not fall back into that state of mind.

Ladies.... we need each other. If I had someone encourage and guide me, I could have gotten here faster. I didn’t know how to love myself. I didn’t even know what that meant. I THOUGHT I did. But clearly I didn’t. I hid behind addictions that although were extremely fun were not the healthiest.

I know it’s hard to be honest and vulnerable when it comes to telling your truth. I’m cringing re-reading this. I want to press delete. But I will keep it up. Because if I can help just ONE woman learn how to love herself completely and own her story proudly.... then it was all worth it. Free yourself from your own inner demons.

This is no longer my burden to carry. I release it.

Online Women Community coming soon!!!!

#selflove #selfawareness #bekindtoyourself #releasetoxicthoughtsandactions #healthymind #tellyourstorytohelpothers #letsevolve #letthatshitgo #freeyourself


DAY FOURTEEN | PASSIONATE | SELF LOVE PROJECT

DAY FOURTEEN | PASSIONATE | SELF LOVE PROJECT

Day 14 | Passionate

It is both a blessing

And a curse

To feel everything

So very deeply.

dj

DAY TWELVE | FORGIVENESS | SELF LOVE PROJECT

DAY TWELVE | FORGIVENESS | SELF LOVE PROJECT

DAY TWELVE | FORGIVING

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

DAY TEN | INNER HAPPINESS | SELF LOVE PROJECT

DAY TEN | INNER HAPPINESS | SELF LOVE PROJECT

DAY TEN | INNER HAPPINESS

"Any fool can be happy when times are good. It takes a strong soul with real heart to develop smiles out of situations that make us weep."

We can choose to be happy or we can choose to be miserable. I know. I know. You are probably thinking I’m full of shit and that that is easier said than done. But it’s true. If you can learn to live in the present moment and not live in the past or the present. You CAN choose which reality you want to live in.

How do we live in the present moment you ask???

MEDIATION.

Have you tried it? If not, I highly advise you do!!! If you don’t know where to begin let me just tell you to contact my beautiful friend and lifetime coach, Veronica Barragan, who has taught me all I need to know in such a short amount of time. And I wish I had someone like her to teach me this YEARS ago, when I was so lost. I thank God for this beautiful soul. She has taught me about living in the present moment. How to detach from emotions that tie me down. And hold me back from moving forward. I have been working on Low Self Esteem, Discipline and Consistency. And those three things are crucial to me growing as a woman in this world of mine.

Day One | Taking Risks | Self Love Project

Day One | Taking Risks | Self Love Project

I'm living proof to say... you can do whatever your heart desires. Almost 4 years ago I was laid off a job I worked my ass off for, for 10 years!! TEN YEARS! Living someone else's dream. Living, eating and breathing that company. Loyal as can be. Managing a department that was awarded time and time again for "Best Department of the Month", Rockstars of the Month, etc... Never taking vacation, never calling in sick. Yet, I was still let go.

12 Ways to Love Yourself

12 Ways to Love Yourself

12 Ways You Can Love Yourself Now by Louise Hay

I have found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin. Here are 12 Commandments to help you learn how to love yourself:

1. Stop All Criticism. Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

2. Forgive Yourself. Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.